My Dear Gay Diary
by I.write.sins.not.tradgedies
Summary: Hey, I just got this journal and ...I don't know I was bored, so I decided to start writing in it. Not that boring crap you lesser peoples write, only the horrific drama of my life. Oh, did I mention my brother's gay? Yeah, I think that's important too.
1. Sora's my brunette bro Oh, he's gay too

Dear Diary-whose-name-I-haven't-decided-upon-yet,

My brother's a fag. No, not the, "he's such a loser" type of fag. He's a real fag, a homo, a queer, the works. I can't say I'm terribly surprised, I suppose. I've had my suspicions between those two for a while now but it's different having a fleeting suspicion from walking in on your brother having an intense tonguing session with his best friend.

Ack, mental images! How do I make it stop? Anyway, I suppose you think I'm overreacting. I am NOT. My brother's tongue was just in someone else's mouth. And not just anyone else's, a freaking male's! He was exchanging spit with a MAN who has a PENIS between his legs. You know, that organ that really hurts when physically assaulted?

That is SO not something I can just be all 'okey doky, poky wokey' with. I wonder if I can ever look at those two the same. Not that I've ever really looked at them as the 'sane' type of people anyway. I mean how can I when Brother's always bouncing off the walls like he's high and his 'boyfriend' is always being his wanna-be-white-gansta self? It's really too weird thinking about how they ever came to be this 'intimate' with each other.

ARG! Mental images are back. Leave me alone!

Diary, I really don't think I can suffer through any more imagery attacks so I'll end it here.

Don't miss me too much,

-Roxas

P.S. Why don't you start thinking for a name for yourself, huh? Must I do EVERYTHING?

So, here's just a ramble I was struck with. No, I'm not abandoning my other fics if anyone who reads them cares. I just need a break from all the angst. Anyway, this is slash story. There will be homosexuality discussed, displayed, and -you get my point. This is a major character DEVELOPMENT story. It will not be a fast jump-in-eachother's-pants fling and it may not even end romantically. I repeat. it is a CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT STORY. Thank you, now please, review.


	2. I need a girlfriend, throwing a cow? WTF

Dear Unnamed-Diary,

So, have you thought of a name for yourself yet? Didn't think so. You are so useless! Sigh

Well, I have a name. It's Roxas. I guess I should be polite and sort of introduce myself. Not that you would be polite back to me. You are such a rude unnamed diary! Anyway, I've told you my name already. I'm fifteen years old and I'm obviously a boy. Why else would I freak out about my brother being gay? If I were a girl, I'd probably be watching those two while squealing like a little piggy fan-girl. Hey, wait; are you a boy or girl diary? Either way that would be really weird since I'm talking to you at 1:23 in the morning. But, I suppose since you're not a living organism, you don't need to reproduce and therefore have no gender. Wow, people who call their diaries in female or male connotations are really weird. Snicker.

So, since you aren't going to talk, I guess I'll just keep rambling on.

I was born in Twilight Town, which is the best place ever, and I moved to these retarded islands, which are seriously lame-ass by the way, a few years ago. My mom died when I was seven. The only thing I can clearly remember about her was that she was "really pretty".

After she died, I was placed in foster care but that didn't last very long. I had joined up with this "gang" when I was about twelve. I can't recall who used to be in it but I remember we wore black a lot. I remember one name loosely, "Axel". I think he was my best friend, or at least a friend, maybe even a sworn enemy or something. I hate how I can't remember. My new "family" said that I suffered through some kind of trauma that put my mind into some kind of mental block, making it so that I kind of can't remember anything. Some side effect of my horrible life in the gang. Che, would I have stayed in that gang for so long if anything bad were upsetting me so "kind of" much? Erg, doctors are such flippin' idiots!

Deep breaths now, okay. I'm cool. Cool, calm, and collected. God, diary-whose-name-has-to-be-hyphenated-so-many-times, stop staring at me like that!

I wonder what Sora's doing right now. Probably out shopping with Riku. Ew, back-to-school shopping. I think I'm going to barf. Heads toward the trashcan. Yeah, school starts the day after tomorrow. If you really wanted to know diary, I'll be a sophomore this year. I bet you're wondering how I could even be going to school being in a gang at one time, right?

It's kind of confusing but when I had lived with those foster-son-and-daughter-of-bitches they put me through a crap load of advanced courses. They had me in out-of-school programs and honoroll classes. So, I basically knew calculus in like the fifth grade. Now that I live with Auntie-dearest she just placed me in the grade with the same age kids. It's going to be so boring. Maybe I should get a girlfriend or something. I mean anyone would want to date me, right?

You're not answering me, diary.

I'll take your silence as a yes.

Anyway, I have to go get my schedule tomorrow at school for school. Doesn't that suck? I mean why should I have to drag myself to those cursed grounds the day BEFORE the official hell begins? There's no logic whatsoever in this cruel practice! I just know tomorrow's going to be awful. I hope my bed decides to grow a mouth and swallow me up tonight. A mouth with no teeth, of course. Wait; isn't that like being eaten by an old person? …GROSS. But I'd take the geezer mouth over school any day.

What's that sound? Oh crap, Auntie's home. She'd throw a cow if she read what I wrote. Don't even ask me what throwing a cow means. You don't want to know.

Your amazing soon-to-be-girl-friended-by-some-hot-chick,

Roxas

P.S. What do you think about the name Golden Doodle? Like after those crossbred Golden Retriever/ Poodle mixes.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Here's the next chapter. I know Roxas is a jerk. He's supposed to be. A sarcastic and apathetic fool who thinks he knows everything. And yet, he is not naïve. A delicate persona starting the battle of yourself against society a.k.a. adolescence. Thanks for reading this far, now please just review.


	3. The diary goes to school each day

Dear Your-name-is-so-not-Golden-Doodle,

Yuck! Remember how I asked whether or not you wanted to be called Golden Doodle or not? Well, so not! One of those creepy little things... twitch creatures came up to me and sted right on my shoe. I mean what the hell?! Sora was all, "Aw, it so cute." And Riku was all, "Heh heh heh, score. Cute Christmas present + Sora hot screwing for Riku." But I was like, "throw it in the oven and set it on 350. Cuz' we making Doodle cookies tonight." (1)s

Sigh, well, it's gone now. Riku took it to the "Animal Shelter". Che, like I would believe that. Anyway, where am I right now you don't ask because you are a mean bitch of a diary? Why, I am at school where I am waiting ever so patiently to receive my 50-pound textbooks. Yes, I do take my diary everywhere I go. And yes, I like recording ever single waking moment of my life. You hear me you motherfuckers in front of me who take fucking 50 bazillion years to walk one foot forward in this god-forsaken line! ARG!

Argh!

Ergh!

GRRRR!!!

Gr- Yeow! Hot chick, 3 o'clock. Or is it 4 o'clock? 9 o'clock? Whatever. Oh shit, she's coming over this way. What am I gonna do? What am I going to do? Ack! Diary? What are you doing here? I have to hide you! Fuck she's hot. Why am I still writing in you? Crap, she's only four feet away! Must hide you. H-O-T

My future girlfriend approa-

Roxa...

TBC

(1) – Did you hear of the two boys who slow roasted a live puppy in the oven? I think that they might be going to juvi for that...

So tired. I'm sorry for not updating anything. I've been absolutely exhausted every single day for no apparent reason. I got this hastily jotted down, yet even as I am typing this sentence, I feel my eyelids drooping. My brain can't think of anything to say so just, I don't know. Review and enjoy.


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